God wants to heal us. God wants us to experience true freedom – in Him. God wants us to live life more abundantly. He truly does! This is what He says in His Word & He’s not a man that he should lie. But we must be willing to turn to Him & allow Him into those fragile parts of us too.
Every so often God will use my relationship with my own children to remind me of my relationship with Him.
When they’re hurting. When they’re mad.
My oldest oftentimes bottles up his emotions no matter how many times I try to let him know that I’m here for him. No matter how much he tries to pretend he’s ok, I know he’s not. As his mom, I know when my son is not ok. Whereas my youngest son, he doesn’t hold back & lets it be known. There’s no need to ask him. He cries it out. He lets me know when he’s sad. When there’s something wrong. When he’s mad. He tells me when he’s upset especially when he’s upset with me.
Ever felt like throwing in the towel?! Ever felt tired of fighting?! Ever felt like your faith & hope in God was literally hanging from a thread & all you wanted to do was give up?!
As I shared on my previous post, 2019 was by far the most challenging year I’ve had & not a day went by that I didn’t wake up feeling anxious, tired & defeated. Every day felt like it was on repeat.
Everyday consisted of waking up at 6am to prepare a bottle of milk for my 2 yr old before I got myself ready for the day, make sure my oldest was up & out the door by 8am, I would drop the baby off at the sitter while Edison dropped our oldest son off at school & I would head to work. I would wait for my oldest to walk to my job from school, go on my lunch break at 3pm, pick up the baby at the sitter & stop to get them something to eat before dropping them both off to my grandmother. There goes my hour of lunch only to get out of work at 7pm, 8pm or even 9pm sometimes. Once I got home, I was lucky if I had 10 mins in the shower with zero interruptions. It would be around 11pm by the time I finally hit the bed & do it all over again the very next day.
I came across this song today on my playlist & I was reminded of the day I heard it for the first time. I had this song on repeat for 2 days straight because I resonated with it so much. That same day I had taken some time to journal & I remember telling God, “Take me deeper, Lord.” I desired to know Him deeply & intimately. I felt as though I had only known Him on a surface level but I wanted to go deeper. Mannnnn, I didn’t realize how bold of a statement that was when I made it.
I was anticipating for 2019 to be an amazing year despite how 2018 ended but instead it was the most challenging year thus far. It wasn’t until recently that I felt a shift finally take place in my mind, my heart & in my spirit.
Lately, I’ve been in an emotional roller coaster. One minute I’m feeling encouraged and on fire for God and then the next minute I’m feeling discouraged and stagnant. But I’m grateful that I can always turn to God and He is the same at all times. His grace is truly sufficient and He always finds a way to remind us of this truth. I pray this devotional and song blesses you as it blessed me. 💕🌻
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,
And He delights in his way.” Psalms 37:23
Some of you are wondering how God is going to get you from where you are today to where He wants you to be. How can He get us from where we are in our current situations, and our current lives to the great destiny, that we know deep in our hearts, God has in mind for us?
It’s been a couple days since we’ve been back from our retreat & we are STILL in awe of God. A few years ago, I would have never imagined spending an entire weekend praising & worshipping God. I remember always looking forward to the weekend & making plans to go out & drink/dance the night away. This is not meant to pass any judgement on anyone. I promise. I’m just simply stating facts on how jacked up MY life was & the destructive life I was living.
A few weeks ago, I began to read the book of Proverbs. I had been desiring for more of God and of His Word. God truly knows our heart’s desires and will fulfill them as He sees fit. Several months ago, I joined a book study at one of my friend’s church and we created a group chat on Whatsapp so that we can stay in communication. One of the girls in our chat encouraged us to join her in reading the book of Proverbs. This was only just a couple of weeks ago and it’s been awesome. When we truly are intentional about spending time with God and reading His Word, the Holy Spirit will give us the understanding we need and will reveal things that can only be revealed to us with His help.
Sometimes Facebook will remind you of some great memories & other times not so great. 2010 was a year full of hurt, emptiness, insecurity, confusion & brokenness. This picture is a reflection of that. Behind that pose, little dress 🙈 & fake smile was a lost soul who was crying out for help. I was engaged but yet entertaining another man. I would care after my son all week & I would go out to dance & drink about every other weekend. It was my definition of being free & having fun. 😣 I had been lied to & cheated on prior to this & I just became heartless. 💔
Lord, I am here. In awe of Your love. Thank You for the relationship I get to experience with you on a daily basis. Forgive me for missing the mark each & every day. Thank You for Your grace & Your mercy that sustains me day to day. Thank You for being my Rock on which I stand. Thank You for Your Word that is a Lamp to my feet & a Light to my path. Thank You for being my Help in times of trouble & my Strength when I’m weak. Thank you for being my Comforter & Provider. Have Your way in my life, Lord! May the love I have for you grow deeper & deeper. Don’t allow me to become complacent. Continue to be the lover of my soul. I needed you then, I need you now & I shall need you for the rest of my life. I praise You, Lord. I exalt Your Holy Name. You are worthy to be praised. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen!