“A Letter to the Next Target” 📝 | 💭 Ever been in a toxic/emotionally abusive relationship?!? ❌ Have you ever wished you had the opportunity to speak to the person your ex left you for?
Not to fight her but rather to have a “woman to woman” talk because your experience taught you compassion & if you could save her from going through the hell you went through, it’d be worth it?!? But if we’re honest, would we have believed his ex if she had warned us? Probably not! This book helped me understand the kind of person I had shared 4 years of my life with & how toxic our relationship was. Of course, this was a year after the relationship ended (I was so blinded).
I had always heard about “narcissists” but I never knew what it truly meant to deal with one. Most importantly, how damaging their actions can be. Breaking up with someone toxic & recovering from it is a completely different journey than it is with someone who’s not. The journey is one of the hardest – 💔 heartbreak in general is no joke! My faith, hope & relationship with Jesus is what gave me the wisdom & strength to overcome. 🙏🙌 I literally came across this book accidentally but I believe everything happens for a reason. God placed this book in my path a while back so that I could find peace & no longer torture myself in trying to figure out why it didn’t work, what I could’ve done differently to have avoided this & beating myself up over it or how long it would have taken to finally heal. Some might ask why do I share the things that I share? I do so because I’m unashamed. I’m proud of the God-fearing, strong, compassionate & wise woman this journey called life has made me become & if God did it for me … He can do it for you. My test has always turned into a testimony & my mess has always turned into a message. #IAmStillStanding #SharingIsCaring | 📚 Psychopath Free by Jackson Mackenzie💡
I cannot reach you directly, for it would only send me back into a world of insanity that I have no desire to revisit. But I can hope that you might come across this letter and learn that there are always two sides to every story. You have already been told one. Here is the other. I hated you. I watched you run off with the love of my life, happily and shamelessly showing the world what you had done. It took me weeks to realize that the infidelity had been going on long before our relationship ended. It took me months to realize that my pain and tears were used as a device to manufacture your sympathy. And now it will take me years to recover from the insecurity that comes from being triangulated with another person. But I do not hate you anymore. I fear for you. Although we have different personalities, bodies, and spirits—when it comes to this relationship, we are no different.
You see, I once rode the high that you’re currently riding. I was the special one. The most beautiful, perfect, flawless partner in the world. I saved them from the pain inflicted by their last, crazy ex. I sympathized with them about how horribly they were treated. I was elated to be the one who finally made them happy after all of their alleged suffering. They were fascinated by me. They spent every waking moment texting me and showering me with attention. Does this sound familiar? One must wonder, in this short span of time, how I suddenly became crazy. Bipolar. Jealous. Needy. Clingy. Abusive. How did that happen? Is it really possible for a person to go from flawless to horrible in the blink of an eye? And furthermore, is it really possible that their previous ex was all of these things as well? And what about the ex before that? The common denominator has become startlingly clear.
For so long, I punished myself. I truly believed that I deserved my pain. Something must be wrong with me, I thought, in order for them to run off into the sunset with another person. But then I realized, I was once that person. I was you. And because of that, I understand that I can never save you from this nightmare. Victims of psychopaths cannot escape once they have been groomed. For the rest of your relationship, you will deny reality and invent reasons that you might be the exception. You will lie to yourself, desperately trying to re-create your perfect dream. But ever so slowly, your identity will begin to fall apart. They will push your boundaries until you don’t even know who you are anymore. Another person will enter the scene. It is inevitable in relationships with narcissistic predators. You will be strung along for as long as possible, as I once was. Your increasingly volatile reactions will be used against you, to evoke sympathy from the new target. And eventually, you will be me.
This is why I fear for you. I would not wish the pain and suffering I’ve experienced on anyone. I know that your intentions were not malicious. I know that you were being spoon-fed the exact same lies I believed a long time ago. The story you’ve been told is false. It was a pity ploy, designed to enhance your fairy tale and consume your heart. You will not believe that today, but someday this letter will make sense. Brutal, heartbreaking sense. I can only hope that the aftermath of your abuse might be guided by this letter. I can only hope that this might provide you with the tools that I was never given. A puzzle piece, to jump-start your journey. I do not hate you. That is what they would want.
I will not carry on their legacy by taking part in these triangles anymore, injecting jealousy and hatred to fill the void of their soul. I’ve made it through to the other side, and I know you can, too. Please have the same empathy for the person who replaces you. We can only ever stop this cycle of abuse with compassion for one another, by recognizing that all human beings deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and honesty. Wishing you love, hope, and above all: freedom.
Until next time, many blessings & much love. – 🕇💕🌻
4 thoughts on “Toxic/Emotional Abuse – #PsychopathFree ”
OMG! I felt every single word in that letter! Unfortunately so many of us women have been put in this situation. I never realized how broken I was inside from the things I tolerated because I believed thats what I deserved. When my ex-husband ran off with his mistress I felt my world crashing down. Like there was nothing left to me. I was literally NUMB. I woke up in the morning to take care of my kids, go to work, force myself to eat because I was pregnant with my daughter but I was a walking, talking zombie! Now I look back and realize God ended that chapter to take me to higher places in life! My beautiful children came from it because they have a purpose here both in my life and in this world. Now I pray for him. While I have accepted the Lord into my heart and now I am full of life and see the world in a new brighter way, he struggles to find the good that he has in his heart. Remember God doesn’t clos one door without getting ready to open another!
I’m so sorry you had to go through such heartache but I’m so happy to see you have accepted the Lord & now have peace about it all. You may not have seen the light at the end of the tunnel while going through it but to be able to look back & understand why God allowed it to happen is amazing. He’s so good & is always there to comfort us in our most darkest of times. And it’s so awesome that you pray for him. There’s so much power in prayer.
Wow this is really powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing this viewpoint. I have a different story to this but it’s still related – My abusive ex has got his new wife to participate in his ongoing abuse of me so in that way he manages to abuse us both at the same time. It’s quite a startling development to the story, which I never would have expected. I can see her abuse of me as denial that she’s married an abuser (that fact can’t be processed, and I don’t blame her for it, when it’s so complex and confusing), so it gets projected out onto me.
I understand exactly what you mean. It will only be a matter of time until she realizes it for herself but even if she doesn’t, no matter how much you try to warn her she will not believe you. Unfortunately, your ex knows exactly what to do & say to make sure it stays that way. I’m grateful that you’re no longer blinded as we all were at one point. Many blessings to you!
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